I am often asked whether one should choose his partner himself, or let his parents choose for him. The answer is not that simple. First, you have to decide whether you are capable of choosing for yourself, or whether your parents are capable of choosing for you, or whether both are not capable!
You have to be brutally honest with yourself first. How good is your understanding of people? Do you get cheated? Do people turn out to be something completely different from what you initially thought them to be, or do you find that your assessment of them was quite accurate? Are you surprised when you hear stories of what others have done, or do you think, 'well, thats quite expected of that person.'? If you belong to the latter category, it is better for you to choose your own partner.
Both cases are good, depending on the type of child and parent. Most people I know do not have a good sense of character judgement, whether parent or child. In such a case, you can only pray, because your brains will get you nowhere.
Many times, parents are more worried about the financial status, the history of the family, the security, etc, than the intellectual compatibility of the couple. This could be disasterous. Most of the times, parents don't know their children well enough to know what kind of a boy/girl will suit them best. If you have a very good rapport with your mother or father, (you know you have a good rapport if they know most of your secrets), and you know they are looking for the right things, you can count heavily on their advice.
The best thing would be to choose your own partner using all your understanding of people, and then get your parent's advice and insights on that person. If you 'love' the person because they make you feel things you never felt, you're mistaken. The 'feelings' are not an indication of love, merely chemical reactions in the brain.
Ask yourself if you'll still love this person if you don't 'feel' anything around them, and if they always leave the toilet seat up after marriage, and leave the dining table in a mess. Will you still love them if they boss you around, and if they never do what you ask them to do? If your answers are yes, you have something there. Investigate your feelings carefully and then take your decision.
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