Are the people around you helping you shine, or are they dimming your light?

Are YOU helping them shine or are you dimming their light?

Everyone who is nasty to others has a reason for their actions. And we’re all ultimately forgiving of our own poor behaviour, we’re rude, mean, abusive, hurtful, deceitful… we wouldn’t ever repeat it if we didn’t forgive ourselves. Can we offer others the same space we keep for ourselves?

I’m reading a book currently where the author invites us to relate to murderers and rapists as human beings with feelings and reasons. Reasons for being nasty are not good enough. Standing up for oneself and being an inconsiderate person are not the same thing at all.

I remember how a masseuse – a total , once told me how relieved she was that her husband died during covid. A single mother handling 2 kids all alone, she was grateful for her freedom. I’ve seen many cases where children were relieved when parents died (and very guilty to feel that way) because the abuse was finally over. It’s very sad, very moving for me to come across these stories.

It’s so important to know whether we’re surrounded by the right people, but so much more important to know whether we’re the right person.

Note: While this list will likely be different for people living with abusive partners, that alone should be a red flag for our own existence.