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Author: Ashwita

Is the World an Illusion?

Is the World an Illusion?

Painting by Jin Warren
Painting by Jin Warren

I’ve said this before. The right questions are more important than the right answers. And every once in a while, you come across these priceless questions. A friend at the ashram asked Jacqueline two questions – the second one will come in the next post. Her replies were so special, I couldn’t resist sharing.

If you want to hear it all in Jacqueline’s voice, click here (14 min).

Question: When I look at people in world, also many of my friends, I just don’t understand why they are doing what they are doing. I find ordinary pursuits meaningless and the teachers tell us that it is all an illusion. Can you please say something about this?

Jacqueline: First of all, what I would like to say is you have to be very careful with this – that everything is an illusion, the world is an illusion. People who haven’t realized the truth of who they are, haven’t realized what reality really is, can end up becoming very confused by this idea that the world is an illusion, everything is an illusion, nothing matters.

When someone hasn’t had that realization, it can be just be a way of turning their back on the world. It can be a form of escapism. The illusion is, it’s not the world, but it is what the mind projects on the world. The stories that the mind projects onto the leela, God’s divine play, the happening that we call life. It’s the mind’s projection onto this that we could call the illusion.

Now, finding ordinary pursuits meaningless – first of all, very important, don’t become a spiritual snob. And, I’m not only speaking to this young man now, but just generally speaking, beware of that. Judging other people’s lives because they are not on a spiritual pathway, you create actually, a new kind identity. The identity that I often call ‘the holy personality’.

Your spiritual pathway is about recognizing that you are a spiritual being. Recognizing your true nature. A spiritual pathway is moving beyond the mistaken identities of who we think we are. You know, I’m fantastic, I’m not good enough, I’m this, I’m that. This is the illusion, this is the mind’s projection. But it can be very easy on a spiritual pathway, to start building up a new identity, that of being holy. And any identity you build up, you will get stuck in it.

Painting by Rob Gonsalves
Painting by Rob Gonsalves

So the pursuits you might call meaningless, the lives some people are living, are the lives that are required for people until they are ready to awaken. Anybody coming to this planet has some kind of karma to work out. And it’s not meaningless. So, the things you meet in life, how you deal with these things, how you relate to people, all of this, is karma working itself out.

The conflicts we have, it’s like when you are making a diamond- I don’t remember the English word for this, but sometimes it says, you know, they say you need a diamond to cut a diamond, to rub against it. And the tensions and irritations we can meet in life, can be a fine way of polishing our inner diamond, our inner truth.

So if everyone coming on this planet, read a book on spirituality or found a teaching that everything is an illusion, and then they just sat down and didn’t do anything. I mean, first of all, it wouldn’t be possible, but it would be a total waste of an incarnation. I think you understand what I mean by this.

So, don’t label other people’s lives meaningless. Stay centered in yourself and walk your own pathway. That will give you plenty to do. No need to get lost in other people’s drama, in that way. And if you are using a lot of energy to judge and think about why other people’s lives are so meaningless, you are getting lost, stuck. Use your energy instead in your sadhana, in your spiritual pathway, in your practice.

Lonely and Abandoned?

Lonely and Abandoned?

One morning this week, I woke up to find a special text message on my phone.

“Hi Ashwita,
Why the soul does so feel abandoned,
Why, again and again, taunted by lonely despair
Why do the tears dry into a shriveling, deep within
Heal the soul, hear the call
Help the beauty emerge,… oh please do!”

And as I was still groggily trying to make sense of what I was reading, the answer automatically flowed. Of course, here’s a slightly edited version, there were a few rough edges in the original.

Why does the drop,
Far away from the ocean,
Feel so miserable, incomplete?

Why, as it quivers
In the light of the sun,
Does it weep alone in the heat?

If only it knew,
It was only a matter of time
If only it knew,
That every time the sun shines
The heat has it vaporize,
Sending it closer to the skies.

May you remember,
When you feel like you are fading
That you are only just
Evaporating.

No body comes to help,
Because it is your destiny to disappear
Lose yourself completely,
Although it may be exactly what you fear.

You are meant to rise, meet the skies,
Only to then fall back down,
Plunge into the ocean, once again,
Until all of you has drowned.

You’re going back home, little one,
Yes, you’re just going back home,
And only when you’re there, will you realise
There was never, ever such a thing as ‘alone’.

Can Movies Heal You?

Can Movies Heal You?

A few years ago, we had spent a few days staying with a sadhu (ascetic). Amidst our long discussions on spirituality, he’d rave about his guru, still clearly enchanted by him. One of the things he mentioned, was that his guru would spend hours meditating on movies. He especially liked the ones with a lot of fighting.

I couldn’t believe it. While I had some indications that the guru was quite genuine, this fact had me perplexed. Meditating on a movie? The whole idea seemed ridiculous.

Not anymore.

I’ve mentioned before that meditation shouldn’t be limited to a small practice as part of a daily routine. It has to become your moment to moment state. And when this starts happening, movies can bring about so much healing.

Movie Therapy?

What does any real therapy do? It involves remembering painful incidents, surrendering to the pain and releasing it. What could be better to do this than a movie? One is far more hypnotized in a theater than in a therapy room.

When you have been meditating for a while, you start to slowly detach from the drama of life, while still participating in it. This changes the way you do everything – including watching movies.

I keep saying movies and not soap operas, because so far, I’ve found that soap operas and other programs on TV are too short and inconsistent to allow one to delve deep. Also, serials almost always put the focus on the future and not the present itself, which is a temptation the mind rarely resists.

Movies, more so the Indian ones, have so much drama in them, and drama always triggers strong reactions. Intense movies, especially those covering war or similar painful incidents, present us with an opportunity to witness and transcend trauma that humanity has experienced as a collective – provided you are able to remain in meditation without getting pulled into the drama.

If we can allow ourselves to surrender to the joy and the pain the movie brings, we can relax a bit more when we experience these things in life. When we are in sync with life, we often find ourselves watching a movie which brings up deep, repressed emotions.

Not that we need movies for healing though, there really is enough drama in our own minds to keep us occupied for an entire lifetime.

Signs You’re Stuck in a Belief

Signs You’re Stuck in a Belief

True freedom is the freedom from your beliefs.  Credits: 'feeling free' by bwaworga@deviantart
True freedom is the freedom from your beliefs.
Pic Credits: ‘feeling free’ by bwaworga@deviantart

It is common to confuse belief with faith, and with knowledge. There are big differences. Knowledge comes from experience. Belief comes from the lack of it, or in denial of it. If you believe something, then you don’t know it. You know that something is a belief when you are compelled to defend it, prove it.

Beliefs always exist in opposite pairs. A belief exists to counter an underlying, much subtler, usually hidden opposite belief.

If you believe deep inside that you are weak, then you spend a lot of time trying to prove to yourself and others that you are strong. You think that by creating this new belief, by feeling strong, you will become strong. But the underlying opposite belief eats away at and crumbles it’s foundation, which sooner or later brings you face to face with your weakness.

It could be the opposite too. You might believe deep within that you are too strong for your own good. So you spend years trying to prove to yourself and others that you are weak and dependent, getting yourself into all sorts of situations, needing to be rescued. Sooner or later, you get yourself into trouble so deep that no body except you can save you. And that day you will come face to face with the underlying belief.

You might even end up switching between these two states. Maybe over lifetimes, maybe over decades.

When you heal yourself, there is no belief left. The whole topic becomes a non-issue. If it is strength, you’re not going to worry if you are strong enough. You’re not going to talk, or even think about it. You know your own strength. When you really know, there is no need for belief, no need for thoughts or analysis.

If you really are powerful, you have no need to chase power, or shun those more or less powerful than you.

If you are truly happy, you don’t need to repeatedly keep doing things that make you ‘feel alive’.

If you truly feel special, you don’t need proof that you are, or that others are not. You simply never think about it. There is no doubt. So there are no thoughts.

If you really feel beautiful, you’re not going to spend hours trying to look beautiful, applying layers of make up or spending hours in the gym to get rid of that one last inch of fat, or taking selfies everyday, trying to look hotter than you really do. You have no need to hide the fact that you feel ugly inside, by trying to harvest compliments so you forget your own opinion.

If you truly don’t care what others think, you have no use of declaring it all the time, or posting it on Facebook. Because if you really don’t care, you don’t care about posting it either. You don’t need to mask the fact that you feel like a lesser person when someone dislikes you for ‘not caring’.

If you’re truly proud of being a mother (or a father for that matter), you don’t feel the need to declare to yourself or on Facebook that motherhood or childbirth was the best thing that ever happened to you, you’re proud of being a mother and you’ve got the best child in the world. You don’t need to do it, because you don’t need to negate a nagging fear that this whole thing might have been a mistake, and your child might be nothing more than ordinary.

If you really trust your spiritual path or teacher, you have no need to justify and convince others that your path is better. You don’t need to mask the fear that you might be on a slower path than you’d like, or on the wrong path altogether.

Of course, the tragedy is that most people have no idea about the underlying belief. If you found yourself reacting violently to any sentence you read above, mark that as a belief and work on it. The only way to uncover (and transcend) the underlying belief, is through meditation, but acknowledgement and acceptance will also take you quite far. Be free. Beliefs are not worth it.

Meditation FAQs – II

Meditation FAQs – II

Have a question that’s not answered here? Leave your question in the comments!

How many minutes should I meditate everyday?

Ideally, meditation should be your living, breathing state. There are two aspects to meditation. One is the daily practice itself. The practice should be a minimum of 21 minutes long, ideally as many minutes as your age.

The second aspect is applying it in daily life, working on a moment to moment awareness. Of course we falter, and this is how we learn.

I cannot meditate for long. I feel too restless and get up. Is this ok?

This is another common reaction of the mind and we have to learn to put it aside. For this reason, I usually suggest my students to use a timer. This way, you are forced to sit through and witness all the dramas of the mind, including the ones that say that it is impossible to sit a moment longer. This desperation is just another game of the mind we must learn to witness and transcend. So feel it and breathe into your desperation.

Why don’t I feel peaceful when I meditate?

It is a misconception that the mind will shut down and you will feel some peace during meditation. Meditation brings peace into your life by clearing out the stuff that’s keeping you miserable, during the practice. So if you’re doing it right, your mind will bring up everything that disturbs you, during your meditation.

When you learn to resist the temptation to run with the mind and gently detach yourself from the drama, you start changing the patterns of your mind and create space for peace and quiet in your day.

People seem to see colors, visions, feel vibrations, etc. during meditation. I don’t feel anything. What is wrong with me?

Meditation is about being in the moment. So whether you feel something or not, you are not meditating if you are sitting there thinking ‘wow, what a great meditation I am having, such a wonderful experience’ OR ‘why am I not feeling anything, I have so many thoughts’. Experiences are no indicator of a good meditation – detachment to those thoughts, is.

Some people are naturally psychic and meditation opens up their capabilities to see more. If anything, this may be a distraction in their path, nothing else. Do not compare experiences with others.

I had a wonderful experience in meditation the other day. But it hasn’t happened again. How can I bring that experience back?

Same thing. Meditation is about being in the present. Even more than anything else, it is understanding that every moment brings something different. If we get caught up in the experiences – whether that is trying to fix something bad, or trying to recreate something good, then we are running with the mind, and not meditating. Whatever happens during meditation, pay no heed.

How do I know I am making progress?

I once read a wonderful reply by Osho to this question. How do you know if you are making progress? If you are sick and you take some medicines, how do you know if you are making progress? If you’re improving, you know it. There is no question. 

At the same time, there are a few external parameters that show progress. Are you kinder to people around you? How are you treating your spouse? How are you treating your subordinates? Are you less angry and frustrated than before? Are you able to feel joy and love for no reason?

Of course, it takes a few months usually, before you start seeing changes. Meditation is a slow process and takes years. Even so, if you are asking this question, you probably need to sit down and meditate on the question and transcend it. The desire to progress is again a desire created in the mind to take you away from the present.

Meditation FAQs – I

Meditation FAQs – I

Have a question that’s not answered here? Leave your question in the comments!

What is meditation?

Meditation is your natural state. However, years of conditioning have led us to become a bundle of nerves. Alongside that, the mind has taken over and now believes that it is everything. Isn’t that true? Don’t you think that you are the mind? If you took away all your opinions and beliefs, would you know who you are? Meditation is the process of finding the answer to that question.

What is NOT meditation?

Guided visualizations are not meditation. Chanting is not meditation. Anything that involves the mind or creates a new belief system is not meditation, although many of these tools are a good starting point for many. Just don’t get stuck there.

Why should I meditate?

Why should you be in your natural state? Why should you rest in natural great peace? Don’t you want to?

Our current lives revolve around chasing. Look at the older generation. Once they retire, many of them waste away to death. So many get depressed or severely ill. This is because by the time we reach retirement, we usually have nothing left to chase. Nothing outside of yourself will bring you lasting joy. You can chase, but in the end, you’ll just find yourself clueless and exhausted.

What is the best technique for meditation?

There are hundreds of techniques that you can use. If you are sincere, you will find the right technique for you when you outgrow the one you’ve been using. Essentially, meditation does not need a technique. The techniques are to help you bypass the mind. My personal favorite method is mindfulness.

I can’t learn meditation, my mind is never quiet.

That is like saying, I can’t do yoga because I can’t touch my toes. If your mind is always chattering, then it is even more essential that you meditate and rise above the noise. It may be hard in the beginning, but you’ll get there slowly. Regular practice is the key.

When I meditate, I have too many thoughts. How do I fix this?

This is natural. For most people, an initial experience with meditation is being drowned in a flood of thoughts. So they think that they aren’t meditating, or cannot meditate. But this isn’t true. You ARE meditating. The thoughts will come. Just don’t run with them.

I fall asleep when I meditate. Is this ok?

Yes, it is ok. In the beginning, many people have too much tamas in their body. Tamas is dull, lethargic energy and causes sleep.With practice, you will be able to stay awake easily, even if you are meditating lying down.

Eating for Spiritual Growth

Eating for Spiritual Growth

One of the most commonly debated topics is probably the vegetarian-non-vegetarian one. One will rarely reach a conclusion because food is something a lot of people identify with. And as long as you identify with something, you cannot transcend it.

What is food?

Have you ever realized that what is on your plate today will be a part of your body tomorrow? Food is not just nourishment or nutrition. It is what our body is eventually made of. The quality of the food you eat, will decide the quality of your body and mind tomorrow. They didn’t say ‘you are what you eat’ just like that.

Do I have to be a vegetarian to be spiritual?

Short answer, no.

However, if you are serious about your spiritual practice, it would be very helpful to adhere to a satvik diet as much as possible. A satvik diet is one that will support your spiritual practice, providing your body with high vibrating building blocks. This means no over-eating and no low vibration foods.

What are low-vibration foods?

People have gotten stuck with the belief that only non vegetarian food is bad. Vegetarians can be eating very bad food too.

Several foods can be vibrating with poor energies

  • Foods prepared when the cook is upset, angry or tired
  • Foods that are frozen, canned, or processed in any other way are nearly dead and have no energy
  • Cooked foods that are more than 3-5 hours old.
  • The vibration of foods from high to low, goes roughly in this order-
    leaves, fruits, vegetables, cereal, milk products, pickles, eggs, fish, poultry, mutton, pork, beef
  • I know from seeing people’s auras that beef significantly dulls one’s energies.
How do I raise the vibration of my food?

Here are a few tips

  • Eat raw, fresh, chemical free foods as much as possible
  • If possible, cook your own food and eat it within 3 hours of cooking
  • Enjoy your food. Take the time to involve all your senses – look at the food, smell it, eat with your hands if possible and feel the texture and then of course, the taste
  • Let mealtimes be meditation times. Avoid distractions, and conversations or tv programs that trigger strong reactions
  • Don’t make food an issue. Today we travel a lot and if food preferences are going to take you away from the present, then the whole exercise is pointless. Be flexible.
Dialogue: Surrender, Ego, Enlightenment

Dialogue: Surrender, Ego, Enlightenment

The right questions are more important than the right answers. I know this is a long post, but it was such a wonderful discussion that I couldn’t resist posting it.

Balaji: I have heard you talk about letting go of things and not expecting anything, just live life,  give up on your desires. I agree the surrender part, but giving up on desires is something that i don’t understand. What if god wants u to think from the heart and ask what your heart wants truly to Him, so that he gives his child what he or she wants? That’s law of attraction right, ask, have faith and receive it

What if god is really a genie from the lamp, like how its put in secret and just tells your wish is my command. Then whatever people ask is what they get. So if people ask for attaining the highest level to god, they will attain it right?

This will contradict your statement of giving up on things right? i understand the concept of I being god and god being I, and that one needs to reduce the gap of ego between the I and god to understand the above statement. But what if this ego could be removed by asking god what u want from the heart?

Ashwita: Your question is fairly complicated because it shifts between levels.

First – the ultimate thing in the journey is to realize that you ARE a part of God. So there is no one to ask things of. If nature puts you there, it takes care of you – if there is a seed, it will get water to sprout and grow. Asking or not asking will not make a difference.

The law of attraction in my observation does not really work. Yes, when certain things are destined for you, there is a strong ‘feeling’ that it will come, which brings along with it a positivity and determination to get that something. When it comes, you think ‘you’ did it. You didn’t. It is like being on a train to Mumbai and praying to God that you reach Mumbai. Of course he answered your prayers. It feels like a significant thing because maybe for a part of the journey the train was going in the opposite direction and you thought that all was lost. That was all part of the plan.

“what if this ego could be removed by asking god what u want from the heart” -> who is the ‘u’ you are talking about in the latter half of the statement, if not the ego?

Balaji: After a day of observation, a lot of things arose, i got the logic of the train example, but wen it comes to the asking or not asking will not make a difference- if this is true then even a person that’s ignorant in life will be liberated at the end?? and even in scriptures like the bible its written only if u ask will u receive.

Even in our history like the Mahabarath and Ramayan, all the powers each character obtained was only after asking god for them. Even Mikao Usui sat down for meditation only because he had a clear intent of what he wanted. He asked and nature gave it. So does it mean that when a person wants something, if the person meditates upon it he shall receive it??

Ashwita: You are confusing powers with awakening – they are both very different things. But even apart from that, yes it remains the same. The asking is a part of the story. Of course you receive only when you ask – even a baby does not get milk until it cries. Or so it thinks.

The asking and receiving part of the story exists in duality. If you want to remain stuck in it, you remain stuck in the ego. When the ego dissolves, there is no one left to ask. Things happen. That is it. Nobody’s home anymore.

Balaji: What is ego? If asking something is ego, then how can one survive in this fast paced life?

Ashwita: Asking is not a part of the ego – having the illusion that you don’t get until you ask, is. Asking is required, it is a part of the story

Think of it like this. You are an actor. You have to say a dialogue. Then the other man saying something. The dialogue is your part. The next dialogue is also predetermined. To think that the next dialogue comes because of you is the illusion.

Balaji: Ooooooooo, okiii so since its predetermined that means god knows that I will ask him so and so things at so and so time?? So even if I fail to tell my dialogues he would have told it?? He is like a tape recorder that just keeps playing?? Then why is it written u ask and u shall receive it??

Ashwita: Yeah that’s mostly correct. As for the bible, most of the things mentioned over there are with regards to the spiritual path – not so much with materialism. So to seek God – yeah, before the ego dissolves that is required, and a real seeker will of course put in the requisite efforts. Without seeking also things happen sometimes, but largely if you ‘seek’ – i.e. if you seek the presence genuinely, it starts to become stronger and the pull of your mind, weaker.

Balaji: Interesting, when u say seek the presence genuinely what are you referring to??

Ashwita: When I say seeking presence genuinely, I mean that you don’t seek it to decorate your ego further. Many people want enlightenment because it would make them feel better about themselves. Then the moment they come face to face with an unpleasant fact about themselves, it puts them off. They just want reassurance from the path that their belief systems are perfect. A true seeker wants to break all belief systems.

Balaji: And where do all these people who have lost their ego self stay??? Can they live in a society like ours??

Ashwita: Nothing really changes when the ego dissolves – in fact, you can be a better ‘actor’ on the stage of life. Many enlightened people I have heard of, almost no body in their family knew they were enlightened, and they continued living like ‘normal’ people. A few would see the light in them and become disciples and that is how I heard of these people.

 Balaji: How does one get to know that the ego self is dissolving within themselves??

Ashwita: I guess one would start seeing that one is less controlled by the mind. You are able to let go and surrender to life more. You are more in the present moment and running away less to past and future.

Balaji: Have u met anybody who has lost their ego self?? And how do u know that the person you’re talking to is a person that’s enlightened?

Ashwita: Yes I believe I have.

It is almost impossible to tell by watching their actions or behavior. One thing that might be noticeable is that they might be visibly in the present moment – not holding on to stuff from the past, but that is also hard to tell. The only way I assess is by looking into their eyes. I guess once you start having some access to ‘the light’, you can see and identify it in other people.

Balaji: Yeah sometimes i get confused so much with the way our belief systems our built without questioning. People just agree to whatever is written without understanding the context in which they are being told.

When u say less controlled by the mind, how can one make decisions??

Ashwita: Decisions will only be better when you are less controlled by the mind – because now YOU can use the mind to take the right factors into account, keep obsessions at bay and take the right decision based on logical as well as intuitive assessment, without giving in to unreasonable fears.

Balaji: What does surrender on to life mean???

Ashwita: Surrender to life – To be in acceptance of whatever life throws at you. This includes any action you might have to take to deal with the incidents. Doesn’t mean you just sit in one corner saying ok, life threw this at me, I accept it, I won’t do anything.

Balaji: When u say present moment, your present consists of both the time line of past and the future right?? The moment was once a future and then it became present and then it became past, so the ego can be dissolved in any area of the time line right?? Why is it specific that u need to be in the present to dissolve it?

Ashwita: The present is only the present. The past and future are aspects of the mind. When you REALLY start to observe your mind, you realise that it runs to the past and future because it doesn’t like what is being handed out to it in the present. There is nothing really, to dissolve in the past or future.

I compare this with a kaleidoscope. The present is a particle in the center. The past, childhood, inner child, past lives, ancestry, future, etc are all different mirrors. You can try resolving it by looking at the mirrors, but the reflection shows you only one side of the particle. Much easier to deal with the particle – the present, itself. It holds all aspects of all time.

Dealing with Hurtful People

Dealing with Hurtful People

We live in a community. Sooner or later, someone will hurt us.

Whenever I talk about acceptance and surrender, one question that inevitably comes up  is ‘so then how do I deal with this person who is hurting me, do i just stop reacting? Won’t they hurt me more if I stop giving it back? Won’t their egos get bigger?’

It is a relevant question, and one of the hardest life lessons to learn is effectively dealing with those who are hurting us.

It is about you, not them

The first, hardest thing to embrace is that whatever problem it is, it isn’t about that other person. No matter how vindictive, how sick, idiotic or sadistic they have been, it is your own negativity they are reflecting back to you. The whole world is your mirror, and every person reflects back an aspect of you. Some reflect back the nice sides, some the unpleasant. But it is all just you.

Now, one thing to watch out for here, is the tendency to be harsh on yourself. When this realization strikes deeply, one tends to take all the hatred they’ve been directing towards others and turn it inwards. This isn’t going to help. Skip it.

Don’t give your power away

Whenever you insist that someone else needs to change for you to be happy, you are giving your power away. Essentially, you are saying that you refuse to be happy until this person you hate, changes. Does that look like a sensible quest to you?

Let go of Right vs Wrong

It is when we are stuck with ‘I am right and this person is wrong. Look at how ridiculous his/ her actions are’ when it is the hardest to heal. If you are going around seeking confirmation from people that this person IS horrible, you will lose out on the opportunity to transcend the mess and be happy.

It doesn’t matter how many people agree that the person who is bothering you is being ridiculous and needs to change. If you give your power away, then they are in charge and you are hostage.

So, then what next?

No matter what the situation, a problem arises only when we are unable to handle the way this person is making us feel. Once we understand this, we can focus on resolving our emotions, instead of asking the other person to change.

Does that mean I shouldn’t react?

When we react to situations, we are letting our emotions control us. When we respond to a situation, we are letting our wisdom guide us, and doing whatever makes sense. Both the reaction and response might be the same action sometimes.

If someone is hitting you, for example, it may be sensible to fight back, kick and slap. If you do this as a reaction, then your mind will cloud up, prevent you from thinking clearly, and also create emotional trauma for both of you. If you respond, you will be more stable and calm.

Resolving emotions and learning to respond

You will only start to heal the situation, when you take complete ownership for the mess. This is rarely easy, because it is much more convenient for the ego to put the blame on the other person.

 Sit with your feelings. If you wish to resolve the issues, spend some time everyday, sitting with how this person makes you feel. Close your eyes, and visualize the person/ situation and allow yourself feel whatever comes up. Avoid blaming or trying to come up with an explanation. Just feel.

Then do it with them. Once you have some practice with surrendering to your pain, you can do it when you are with the person too. Remind yourself that this is not them but their pain acting through them. And allow yourself to feel everything you feel in that moment.

Bear in mind. Surrendering to your feelings does not mean that you scream and shout as you please. Screaming and shouting are reactions that come up when you are trying to avoid your feelings. When you focus on feeling, you may not say much and if you do, it will be effective.

Meditation is Death

Meditation is Death

So many I know, are very concerned about having to return to the earth after we die. When I speak to people, many tell me that they are on the spiritual path because ‘I don’t want to come back after I die’.

At one level, this may be a good thing. They’ve realized the basic truth propounded by Gautama Buddha – ‘life is suffering’, at least to some extent. While it might be a nice fantasy to imagine never coming back after dying, never having to suffer again, it doesn’t come easy.

Death isn’t just about the body collapsing one day, and the heart ceasing to beat. You don’t have to wait that long, to never return. You can do that this instant. Because you are dying right now.

Have you read about the process that the ‘soul’ goes through after death? What happens? The first few moments, unless you were really resisting death, are usually bliss. The white light, maybe the angels, the peace. And then all the memories come back. There is a quick recap of every important incident in your life.

Important incidents aren’t just the wedding and the birth of your children, or that occasional award at work. They include that incident when your neighbour’s dog chewed up your imported shoes and they were unapologetic. Or that moment when you read about a rapist and wanted him to be castrated. Or worse…

Everything that triggered an emotional incident is an important event. And it is when you go through this, that you want to come back. You want to come back, to teach that neighbour a lesson. To teach that rapist a lesson. To undo the mistakes you yourself have made. To apologise, to punish.

But you don’t have to wait that long. Death is in this moment. Who do you want to apologise to, now? Who do you want to see punished, now? What are the lessons you want your loved ones to learn? How badly do you want these things? Would you be willing to let that go? Would this person who has these desires, be willing to die? Are you choosing to come back to the world again, this moment? Why will things be different when you leave this body, then?

And this is why, meditation is death. It helps you die before you leave your body. Just like in death, when meditation is deep enough, it brings up everything that binds you. So, instead of grappling with issues in another life, you grapple with them in meditation, and learn to let them go. Every regret, every resentment, every dream, every desire will eventually have to go, even the desire to never return.

Die. It is absolutely, the only way to live.