Browsed by
Author: Ashwita

Simple Method to Move Past Anger

Simple Method to Move Past Anger

No photo description available.

The last few days have been bizarre. A friend shared with me that Mars-Pluto conjunction is causing upheavals, power struggles and misdirected anger. And boy, haven’t we seen this in action?

I’ve observed that those who have been practicing deep listening and a strong spiritual practice have remained stable – letting the inner storm stay separate from their outer world. While the others have succumbed to passive aggressive behaviour or overt aggression.

How do you move past the anger you are feeling? The first step is to stop making it about the outside world. Yes, a lot of nonsense is happening. But if you want to poison your body with disease-creating toxic chemicals just because other people are acting like fools, do it consciously, with full awareness and by choice.

When we are children, anger gets results. We shout and scream, and our parents relent, unless they know better. This teaches us that anger creates change. But guess what, real life is very different. Your anger is not going to change anyone else, it can only flood your system with cortisol and adrenaline and weaken your immune system and compromise your mental and physical health.

So turn inwards, become completely aware of the anger you are feeling, and just BE that anger. Don’t fight it by trying to externalise it, Just feel the anger spreading to every cell of your body as you inhale, and feel the discomfort, welcome it. And keep your focus on your breath. And watch, as it fades away.

Silence

Silence

Zen, Stones, Pile, Stack, Meditation, Rocks, Balance

Words carry such beauty
They’re so powerful, aren’t they?
You can brighten up a sad face
Or you can ruin someone’s perfect day.

How then can it be, I wonder
That the absence of something so profound
Can cause a deeper, stronger reaction?
How can silence possibly surpass sound?

In a room full of people
It is so easy to drown out the noise
And bring the world to a grinding halt
Just by looking into each other’s eyes.

You can express your love in so many ways
The possibilities are endless
And yet when you are truly lost in each other
That magic can only leave you breathless

You can talk about shock and surprise
And protest, approve or agree
But when it manifests in all its intensity
Speechless is all you’re going to be

You can shout or cry or weep
Or express your pain through poetry
And yet, you can only be at a loss for words
When you’re truly drowned in your misery

You can try to mend a broken heart
Through loving words full of grace
But few things will heal as profoundly
As someone silently holding the space

You can humiliate, wound and insult someone,
You can fight every single day,
But you know the relationship is truly over
When there is nothing left to say

Such a big, exciting world out there,
To experience, conquer and own
And yet absolutely none of it matters
If the silence within remains unknown

~ Ashwita Goel

Everything You Think About, You Energize

Everything You Think About, You Energize

Image may contain: sky, outdoor, water and nature

Why is this world called Maya – Illusion? Because most of what you see has nothing to do with the truth. For instance, think about all the times you’ve been shamed for not being good enough. 

Do you realise that when someone tells you that you aren’t good enough, they actually want you remain never-good-enough? That’s the whole game here – think about it – When someone complains that you aren’t good enough, if you change that one trait, then the complaining should stop immediately. But it doesn’t. It just moves on to something else. 

I’ve encountered both kinds of people. Those who support real change hold your hand, love you even though you’re flawed, and help you up. Those who just want a person they can shame and feel good about themselves will point out your flaws as if something’s wrong with you. Shame you, compare you, reject you, abandon you. 

Having said that, there’s no point in judging such a person – this is all they know. The more you try to fight this, the more you engage with it, the more you energise and re-create it. Also be aware that the world is a reflection – if this is happening to you, it means you are doing it to others. 

If you’d like to actually do something to help yourself, deepen your witnessing of the situation, witness what they are projecting on to you, become aware that they are sucking your energy by shaming you, and that you’re never going to be good enough for them, become aware of your own feelings in this matter, and if you cannot simply witness it non-judgmentally, then take help with healing it.

Are You Truly Free?

Are You Truly Free?

Are you truly free? Many of us think we’re free, and we value our freedom, but really all we’re looking for is an excuse to continue to be addicted. Are you truly free to choose NOT to?

If you’re in front of your favourite dish on a day when you shouldn’t eat it for some reason – are you truly free enough to say no? Are you truly free enough to make the choice to exercise, and have your body comply? Are you free to not procrastinate when you’re feeling lazy? Are you free to skip watching TV/ social media and meditate instead when you’re exhausted? Are you free to do what you know is right for you, even though there may be reasons why you don’t want to do it right now?

If not, how are you free? We’ve confused hardcore enslavement with freedom, and confused being emotionally shut down for being happy. Most people who tell me they’re happy are just shut down. I don’t tell them what I see, what would be the point of that, and also because it takes courage to take the shit along with the joys in the same stride.

Freedom comes with responsibility. It also brings a lot of changes. It is easier to be shut down and tell ourselves we’re happy, we can remain in our comfort zone and continue chasing the things we imagine will bring us joy. Most of us are not seeking freedom at all, we’re actually seeking the freedom to be addicted without resitrctions. Like a cocaine addict saying please just let me have the freedom to take as much as I like.

But… what’s the point of a life like that? Is it enough for you?

When animals are raised in captivity, a lot of us feel bad for them and want them to be free. But thing is, they don’t know what freedom feels like. That limited life is all they know. Like a child being born and brought up in jail – it won’t have as much problem as a person who was once free, because that child has no idea what freedom is like.

Also, in some ways it IS easier being imprisoned, right? We’re comfortable with the same old challenges, the same repetitive patterns in life, rather than being ‘out there’, taking responsibility, taking risks, failing, owning up to our mistakes…

To be free is hard. To learn to live without getting tied down, weighed down by emotional baggage, to not get attached and yet engage with life – this takes years of practice, and we still falter. It’s not an easy life.

But you know what’s harder? To be imprisoned by our minds. To get attached, to chase, to allow people and life events to affect us, and the consequent illnesses they bring… That’s far, far harder.

But people are born and brought up in this jail, it’s all they’ve ever known – and ultimately we’re scared of stepping out of our comfort zone, so it’s something they never explore, never realise. They laugh at those who talk about the skies. Because this is all they’ve ever known. But If you’re on the fence though.. take that leap.

Random Musings

Random Musings

Image result for connection

I’ve been thinking about connections the last few days.

When growing up, we knew everyone and everyone knew us. We always got discounts at the grocery store because he knew us. We always got discounts at the bakery – in fact my dad would walk in, still does, and act like one of the owners sometimes, giving customers what they were asking. The pav bhaji wala till date does not take money from us. The clothes stores, same thing. The principal/ teachers, the doctors, the house help, the taxi drivers, everyone. We knew their stories, their names, often their children’s names and much more.

What do you know today? Do you care? We have a bunch of ‘friends’ on social media, all projecting a great false life to each other and that’s about it. The society has become more and more about money, and less and less about connections. And it isn’t just because people are changing cities and jobs on a yearly basis. It is because we’re terrified of connecting deeply, of baring our souls to another.

A 70 year long Harvard study showed that the secret to happiness is not money or success – not even remotely, but healthy and fulfilling relationships. No wonder our society is becoming more and more depressed by the day.

It doesn’t have to be this way. I’ve taught this for several years now – you attract what you give out. When you’re willing to open up your heart, you attract similar people towards you. Yes, you still have to ‘put up’ with what you will eventually perceive as fake relatives and colleagues, but you will have more loving and open people in your life. The main question for today is, do you really want a life like that? And more importantly, are you willing to invest in such a life?

Akshay Tritiya: A celebration of material prosperity

Akshay Tritiya: A celebration of material prosperity

Today is Akshay Tritiya.

Hinduism celebrates spiritual progress as well as material prosperity, today is one day where material prosperity is celebrated, and any new venture started on this day is said to bring wonderful returns. So if nothing else, people just go buy gold. 

All the same, it is important to know the rightful place of material prosperity. Recently someone I know confused ‘motivated by profit’ with ‘we all work for money’. What a dangerous lack of fundamentals, and unfortunately this seems to be a trend in India, not just in our generation. I even remember how my boss (when I was an engineer) sat my colleague down one day and taught her to fake bills so that she could get three times the compensation. 

It is one thing to receive remuneration for your services. It is quite another to be dishonest, to take a bribe or be motivated by profit. Excuses like ‘everyone does it’, ‘It’s not harming anyone’, ‘I’m compensating by helping others’, etc, are all just pathetic. Like I said earlier, the light greys of our life turn to black before we know it. Believe it or not, it IS possible to live honestly, earning purely by honest means, and to thrive, to have plenty. 

Money earned dishonestly will be lost to dishonest people – people who cheat in construction, greedy doctors who prescribe unnecessary medicines and procedures, fake gurus convincing you to part with your money, etc. When you eat food bought with dishonest money, it destroys your viveka, your capacity for discernment. 

So a very Happy Akshay Tritiya to you, and may this day transform the way you look at material prosperity 

Oh, and let us please look inwards and explore our own tendencies to be dishonest please, instead of thinking about others. Be the change; no use pointing fingers.

Love for One’s Child is the Biggest Illusion

Love for One’s Child is the Biggest Illusion

Image may contain: one or more people and closeup

Love for one’s child is the biggest illusion.

A friend said this on a phone call today morning. It was an interesting discussion. 

It’s true, isn’t it? Think about everyone you know in your life, is there anyone who you really 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 like? And compare that with the love for your child. The love we experience for children is in most cases, quite unconditional. And that is not because we are capable of unconditional love, oh no not at all – but because we actively reject and deny every aspect of our child which we don’t like. 

We allow the parts that we accept as ‘part of being a child’, of course, most parents go crazy at how naughty their kids are, how they drive them up the wall, etc etc, but no, that’s not what I’m talking about. As parents we actively reject the idea that our child may be the sort of person we wouldn’t really have liked hanging out with. It is an area we’re too afraid to explore. ‘I really don’t like you, but I love you because I gave birth to you’ – is really not an option. Some people, when they painfully realise that their adult children are people they don’t like, just reject the child outright as a waste of investment. Others try to force them into becoming what they thought they always were. “You’ve changed so much, your friends are brainwashing you.” 

Even scientific studies show that parents have the least perspective on the true personality of their child. Because to allow yourself to love your child unconditionally, you’ve created and fallen in love with an illusion that does not exist. The person you are in love with is a figment of your imagination, not your child. Scary right? 

It doesn’t have to be. If we felt free to dislike the person our child was, and didn’t expect the child to be what we wanted them to be, then we can teach them freedom and teach them how to respect differences between people – something that is starkly missing in the society today. And our children will also grow up completely self-assured that they are loved no matter who they are, and no matter how much their parents dislike their personalities or disapprove of their choices. Imagine that kind of freedom 

Random Musings

Random Musings

I just realised that almost everyone we’ve met this whole week, including yesterday, does not eat dinner. What a blessing to exist in a world where so many conscious people exist, where so many people are so deeply in touch with their bodies.

In the meantime, here’s an excerpt from today morning’s discussion. We were discussing how knowledge is not always an advantage, it more often than not gets in the way. And this story I thought, was worth sharing.

Shankaracharya even, had an ‘attitude’ about being so knowledgeable. One day as he walked to the river for his bath, a cobbler lay in the path. Brahmins weren’t supposed to get anywhere near Shudras, lest they get ‘polluted’. So ‘hey! Move out of the way!’ he screamed.

“Who are you asking to move out of the way?’ the man replied. ‘Is it this body you refer to? Made of merely pancha bhootas, they have no life or will of their own. Or do you refer to my soul, which is infinite? How can something which is omnipresent, move?”

Shankaracharya realised his folly, thanked the man (who is said to be Shiva in disguise) and never made caste an issue again.

So knowledge is useless if it merely comes from books. Sometimes the most profound lessons are taught by the ‘insignificants’ – a child, an uneducated pauper, a rodent, an apple even.

Random Musings

Random Musings

Yesterday a friend mentioned to me that the recent medical report had shown haywire vitals, a severe imbalance. I knew what the emotional root cause was, and called immediately. She parked her car on the side and I ran her through a round of EFT over the phone. Just one round. 

The self-directed anger, disgust and hatred she had received as a gift from her mother and tortured herself with for decades just vanished. The right timing, along with the right words and insights make EFT work like pure magic, cutting through the need for years and years of therapy. 

If you’d like a tip, here’s one. Many of you who’ve worked with me know the importance of surrender. But sometimes in the name of surrender, we tend to suppress what we’re really feeling. You learn the hard way from life, that certain attitudes and actions are painful. So we reverse it, feeling either nothing or by suppressing the action/ feeling. This causes disease. The key is to FEEL what is happening inside, but merely to not let that transform into actions. But the feeling bit it critical. Feel it, and ideally, EFT it. 

But more than anything, practice deep listening. I cannot overstate the importance of this. It’ll help you get a much stronger grip on what is really going on inside. And also on what is going on in the hearts of those around you, probably more clearly than they themselves are aware.

Random Musings

Random Musings

We just spent the evening with a brilliant Swiss man who manages business in 55 countries. He’s worked for cancer hospitals and like others we know, he’s quit because he couldn’t take it – couldn’t face the inhumanity of what was going on behind the scenes… bone chilling stories that patients never realise, but that’s for another day.

The really interesting bit was this. At one point as we shared about spiritual practices, he asked us.. ‘but what is meditation?’ And I found it a little bizarre because he ‘looked’ like someone who would know, from his energy field. But I explained, and then he said yes yes, my mother taught me this, and proceeded to explain the meditation, relaxation and the visualisation techniques his mother taught him which he also used to top his class many times. No wonder he had such a beautiful aura. 

And it makes me realise I miss it so much, people who know SO much, and whose knowledge empowers them instead of inflating their ego. We’ve become a generation of defending belief systems, instead of being open to learning from each other. What a beautiful reminder this has been, of how enriching conversations can really be.