Years ago when I was completely frustrated in a setting very different from my home, I had complained to my mother that I can’t cope with this environment. It is too negative, and these shallow people seem to have nothing better than gossip, cricket, govt and traffic to talk about. I couldn’t cope. I hated where I was.

And instead of helping me, she said this was my problem. ‘You can either be the victim, or you can be the change’ she said. I was irritated for a day. And then my life changed direction completely.

YOU are the source.

You don’t have to depend on stones, angels or anything else for changes in your life.
YOU choose how you respond to the shit life throws at you –
YOU choose whether you let it drown you or whether you use that as a stepping stone to grow and rise.
YOU choose whether you invest all your energies in trying to change the environment by (mis)using energy healing, stones and what not, or whether you let circumstances change, shape and polish you into the best version of you.
This is how you create your destiny, not by facilitating change outside, but by opening up to transformations within.

When the world around you changes from nurturing to shit, it is a sign that it is time for you to start giving instead of receiving. It is an unpleasant lesson in most cases, a reluctant transition. But you’re growing from a sapling needing care to a tree which bears fruit. It is time to nurture the world. Are you ready?

How do you do this?

Believe it or not, you don’t have to have a plan. It really begins by processing the fact that this is your problem to deal with, and you have to deal with it assuming no external change. We’re always cribbing that the external circumstances are not right. There isn’t enough money, there aren’t enough jobs, the people aren’t right or supportive, or they’re downright abusive and demeaning, the food isn’t good, the culture isn’t right, the list is endless. And you can either sit with this mess and let it take your life and joy away from you, OR you can ask yourself, can I find a way to be happy even if I have to survive in this mess?

Who do I need to be so that I can make the most of my life the way it stands right now?

We all talk about stopping to smell the flowers, but it is something very, very few of us actually integrate into our lives. Are you taking the time out to enjoy the little things? Or has life just become a race from one finishing line to another, one problem to another? When you start taking the time out to be happy – little moments during the day here and there, your system starts to lean towards a happiness-oriented approach.

Next, you have to integrate your power. New age spirituality seems to me like a bunch of belief systems designed to take your power away. Buy this crystal, pray to this angel, do this workshop and you’ll get everything you want and finally be happy. FUN FACT: You cannot buy happiness with money. No, you really cannot. You can buy some pleasure, sure. But that’s just going to be a life of endless chasing. You buy happiness through offering your identity. Through letting go of the attachment to your ideas and your personality. We’re all about ‘this is my identity, I’ve gotta preserve it’ – No! That’s exactly what is holding you back, let it go.

If you chant affirmations or pray, pray for the support and guidance to help you become everything you need to become, and open up to new possibilities. Open up to the idea that there indeed is a way of being happy in the present, pathetic circumstances and that you’re going to find it. The rest actually flows pretty naturally. People have asked me many times what they should be doing in certain circumstances – and I’ve almost always replied that if they’re clear about their motivations – if they’re taking this action while being open to internal change – and if they’re tuned in to their heart, the path is always clear. If there is a conflict, it is usually because your belief systems or ulterior motives are interfering.

Lastly, you cannot really be the change unless you have a strong foundation first. A strong daily spiritual practice is essential, whether it is meditation, energy healing or something else. I would’ve said yoga too if that involved deep self-reflection, but today yoga seems more like acrobatics to me. Somehow people who can wrap their ankles around their necks are suddenly more spiritual. Anyway. We’ll leave that for another day.