Many people come to me for help, because they want to find out their purpose in life. These are perfectly normal people, with good health, good families, good financial statuses, and good jobs. But something is missing. Something to live for.

And like I do for everything we explore, I ask them the same question – ‘Why?’.

If you’re one of those feeling lost and trying to explore the purpose of your life, I’d like you to ask the same question to yourself. ‘Why do I need a purpose to live?’. I know it may sound quite ridiculous to be asked that question. The most common answer I get is that they want to be able to make a difference to people’s lives, and not waste their time on a meaningless job.

It seems quite legitimate to want and need a purpose to live. Is it really? Just look at the one generation above us – our parents. Most of this generation spent their lives working in a monotonous job, possibly as a clerk in a bank, working 9 to 5, having the same routine every single day for 3 or 4 decades. When they never needed a purpose of life, why do we?

Much as we’d like to believe that we’re generation ‘Next’, and ahead of our ancestors, I beg to differ. These were people totally content with their lives. They lived in a small house, possibly a rented one, had cheap furniture, clothes bought from the roadside vendors, a small two-wheeler for a family of four and a monotonous 9 to 5 clerical job. Most people in our generation own a house by the time they are 30, have an interior designer furnish it, buy expensive branded clothes and shoes, drive around in expensive cars, have challenging jobs that consume all their time – and surprise! They are still not satisfied with their lives.

I believe that the success and progress of a generation is not measured by how much they have and how much they want, but by how much happier and content they are. Are we really better than the previous generation? What is the difference?

The difference can be summed in just one very small word. EGO. Yes, thats all. The previous generation lived as a society, followed its rules, and if you were in India, married people chosen by their parents and had no problem with that. This generation is individualistic, doesn’t care what others think, focusses on looking good, rich and successful, and doesn’t care what inner realities are. We cannot be insignificant, we MUST make a mark. This is why we have to have style in everything we do, this is why we don’t mind paying more than double the money to buy clothes that have a stamp on them, and take loans to buy expensive things we clearly cannot afford at present – because we want to feel that we are different from others, better, smarter.

Therefore, being stuck in a seemingly meaningless job drives us crazy with desire to ‘be’ something. I say seemingly meaningless because no job is truly meaningless. Everybody has a role in the society, and everyone’s work is important. It seems that our work is useless when we don’t see the results, and don’t get any adulation. And that is when we start hunting for a purpose to live. In effect, we are just looking for appreciation and rewards for our actions.

So if you are asking the universe everyday why it is not showing you the purpose of your life, think again. What is it you are really looking for? Every minute, every second of our lives is spent in progressing towards the ‘purpose’ of this life. If you were destined to be a singer, but you were an engineer for 5 years, that period greatly adds to your wisdom and progress in many ways, both directly and indirectly. When you are ready, you will automatically head towards your ‘purpose of life’, if you have one, in the first place. And every other moment until then is important because it is making you ready for it.

The real purpose of our life is to grow, and to be a better person today than yesterday. If you are working on that, you are already working at great speed toward the purpose of your life, and you don’t need an ego-satisfying role to get there. If you’re really keen to start making a difference to people’s lives, start with the adage ‘Charity begins at home’.

Focus on helping the people closest to you, and starting with having faith in their abilities and wisdom. Respect them, their personal space and their needs. Focus on becoming the best version of you there can be. When you are truly capable of helping others, you do not need to change jobs or locations, help will happen naturally to everyone around you, without effort. Colleagues, friends and even strangers will automatically approach you for help, and you will be able to help them without even trying