It was a while ago, that I decided that I would only write about what I was learning, on facebook as well as here. Not about what I felt others needed to learn. I understand this has its downside; many have been asking me to say something for a while, and everytime I sit down to write something, I realise I have nothing to say. But, it is as it is.

So, I finally have something to say; this is personal, and I’m going to keep it that way. I pray that you find the guidance or help you seek, as you read through it.

I realise now, how I’ve been chasing for a long time. Having been brought up in a spiritual household, chasing was never a good thing, it was always looked down upon. We were still chasing, just in a much subtler way. Chasing money or material wealth was out of question, we had seen beyond that. Family was always the focus. I believe this is how it is anyway, for a lot of Indians – we value families and relationships.

But I see now, how a chase is still just a chase. Doesn’t matter what you are running after, it will leave you gasping and breathless after a while. The material chase is very common all over the world. People are chasing money and power in the blind conviction that it will solve all their problems. They laugh at the ‘lazy’ ones, those who don’t have enough drive to build two houses and buy two cars. The ‘lazy’ ones laugh back at them, because they see through the futility of that chase. You can earn all you like, but no one will cry when you die. All that matters in life is love, friendships and relationships. So that is what they chase, in the belief that if they invested enough in loved ones, they will be happy.

Then there are people who have seen through all of this. Yes, money does not make you happy, and yes, all people are selfish, and it is pointless to expect beyond an extent, from relationships. So they’d rather just chase God. Surely God, or the universe, or whatever else people call it – has the power to make them happy?

I had started seeing already that the spiritual path is not rosy and difficulties lie at every turn. But this one was still an eyeopener. The ‘spiritual’ ones just seem happier because the things that affect ‘normal’ people don’t affect them anymore. But they are still chasing, and they have their own share of disappointments, frustrations and tragedies.

Here’s what I have learned – nothing is going to make you happy forever. And I don’t mean this in a fatalistic way, with a sense of foreboding, the way I have heard it before. It just is as it is. This is life. Some days are going to be happy, some days are going to be sad. Some days you’re going to be wise, some days you’re going to be a complete idiot. Buddhi bhrasht, (messed up head) as we say in our family – a state we always prayed to God to protect us against. It’s all the same, in the end. No state is better than the other. Everything just is. Of course, this is not completely internalised for me yet, but I’m starting to learn.

Eventually all you can do is just surrender – not just to events, many of us do that already, in a bid to ‘not be affected’ by the circumstances – but also to the feelings. We need to feel what we are feeling. Whether we express it or not should still lie with our better judgment as far as possible, but again, if we mess up, it is as it is. There is nowhere to go, nothing to achieve. Things will happen anyway, life moves on and so do we.

Here’s a compilation of the lessons I’ve learned, from a practical perspective.
Stay in the present: Meditation isn’t about sitting for half an hour trying not to think. It is a moment-to-moment state of being. That half hour practice is great too, but it is just as important to remain vigilant towards our selves throughout the day. What am I thinking, what am I feeling? One thought or feeling isn’t better than the other, they are all just there and will pass.

Remember to feel what you’re feeling: Feelings are just feelings. They don’t make you a good or bad person. Every situation in life brings associated emotions with it, and it is ok to feel whatever you are feeling, whether it is wanting to eat that extra laddu or wanting to kill someone. Separate feeling from expression. It is ok to feel. Expression brings consequences. Feel. Express if it makes sense to you.

These are tough times, stay in the heart: Breathe the energies in and out of the heart as much as possible. Do it when things go wrong, do it as a meditation, whatever you like. But keep your attention on the heart at all times.