Frequently, a young man or woman will walk in for therapy, and when I ask them what it is they want, they quip that they want help because they are unable to get married. And when I ask them why, the answers are varied, sometimes even non-existent.

While on the one hand today’s generation is raised to be independent and individualistic, they are also largely raised to seek happiness outside of themselves. Add to this years of conditioning through movies that there is ‘the one’ waiting for you just as desperately as you are waiting for him/her, and it is a dangerous combination.

If you cannot be happy when single, it is highly unlikely that you will be happy when in a relationship. Granted – a new relationship has the potential to bring untold ‘highs’, leaving you reeling and starry eyed. But when the magic fades, you are left to cope with the same miseries that plagued you before the relationship. Many studies show that the high today lasts for about 2 years, before people are back to the level of happiness they were at, before marriage.

A marriage has the highest chances for success if it is entered by two individuals who have a desire to share, to give, instead of expectations, and a desire to receive. And even then, it is still a chance, because people change. What may be perfect for you today, may not be perfect for you twenty years down the line.

So, is marriage worth it? The answer varies widely. For a person who seeks happiness in a relationship, it would be worth it for a couple of years, following which the situation might be quite different. For an independent person who just isn’t ready for a relationship, it might bring them years of misery. And for yet another person, it might be a life changing opportunity, meeting a person who they can embrace in totality, and who embraces them for who they are, helping each other lift up to greater levels of awareness and bliss.

It is a personal choice which is bound to bring difficult times if not thought through carefully, or blissful times if entered into as one would enter a temple – head bowed and hands joined.