Open Up to Deeper Love with this One Step
Some years ago I saw a couple sitting together. They weren’t exactly young, but the way they were interacting with each other, it looked like they hadn’t been married a long time, maybe 3-4 years. There was so much love in the way they looked at each other. Then a friend mentioned they were married for 30 years.
THIRTY YEARS??? I’ve seen a lot of couples that love each other; no matter how deep the love, it always gets ‘old’ – familiarity sets in, there are aspects of the each other they’ve given up on, etc – what I was witnessing was impossible based on what I had seen thus far. So I had to investigate.
I asked her what the secret was. “Never shut down to the other” she said. She gave a few examples but I don’t think I really ‘got it’, back then. As I’ve applied it over the years, I understand a little bit more.
It depends on what you’re looking for in a relationship. If security and longevity is your primary goal, scroll away, this is not for you. But if experiencing love more deeply and more powerfully, and connecting with your partner on deeper levels is what you seek, I have never found better advice than this. The prerequisite is that you are with a person who respects your space and heart, of course, and that you are capable of doing the same.
But the truth is, no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try, you ARE going hurt and get hurt. Normally we ‘shut down’ – build our walls and conclude ‘this person will never change’ and toughen up so that we don’t get hurt. But then you cannot feel the love that deeply anymore either. The door that lets in the pain is the same door that lets in the love. So you feel ‘settled’ in the relationship and there is hardly any pain anymore, but you also forget the intense love you experienced once.
So this Valentines Day, let there be pain. If you want to love more deeply, keep your heart open, knowing that there will be pain, for sure, but it is worth it, and you are strong enough to stand back up. Breathe it in, breathe it out, and hold it in the light of your love. And watch the magic come back to life again.