Many years ago, either a book or a person caused me to ask myself ‘would I rather be a good person, or a spiritual person?’ The answer to me, was obvious. Good person, of course, wasn’t that the point of spirituality, after all?

All these years later, I’m not so sure it is. I’m more inclined to believe that spirituality is about being in our natural state, becoming who we really are, and not good or bad.

There is no such thing as a nice person. We all have our bright and dark sides, and have a tendency towards one of these sides, that is all. The ‘bad’ people are more identified with their darkness, the ‘good’ people, with their light. In both cases, there is identification, and where there is identification, there is misery. Haven’t we all heard the ‘good’ people wailing from time to time, about how all the bad things seem to happen to the good people?

I remember harboring a doubt for a long time after meeting Jacqueline. If a person was a murderer, would becoming spiritual mean he becomes a murderer without remorse? I never mustered the courage to ask, somehow, but over time the answer presented itself.

Our bright and dark sides are nothing but aspects of our personality. Both sides are needed, and both sides can be strengths or weaknesses. So, a person who has a strong tendency to kill anyone who violates him in some way, may still have that tendency, but spiritual practice will lift him above the grip of that tendency on him. He might want to kill someone, but he will have a choice – a real one – to kill or not. And anyone who really has a choice makes the sensible one.

As I mentioned, it is not only our vices that trap us. We are more often trapped by the desire to be a ‘good’ person. This leads us into trouble when we have to look bad in front of others by saying, or doing something that makes us look bad. As a result, most people in the beginning stages of spiritual growth end up having their personal space violated quite frequently.

A dis-identification with the ‘nice’ person within, would leave us free to be a ‘bad’ person when the situation requires it, for example if a person is trying to cheat us, or trying to take advantage of us in some way. A person who is trapped by identification will respond either by being submissive or aggressive. When we let go of the fear of being a bad person, we will find that more and more, we are simply assertive, and actually a better person than we were before.