Recently I discovered some stories about dear ones standing by their principles, risking their careers almost as soon as it began, refusing to give in to the fears of ‘losing it all’. I am so, so proud.

It happened years ago though. Today I look around and it looks quite different. We do a lot of things in the ‘name’ of principles, but basically I think we’ve just found more intellectual reasons to justify hurting people. 

Publicly defaming others is becoming more and more common, and the reviewing system, trolling, the all-too-addictive moral high-ground, etc., is normalizing it, isn’t it? But even if we haven’t done all that, we routinely hurt others when we believe we are right. Now, hurting others by mistake is different, but things start to change when you think you are right in hurting someone else. Or maybe that you are being ‘honest’ and not hurtful. That’s, well, just plain delusional. 

Think you’ve never done it? Ever used sarcasm when angry? Or deliberately said something to hurt someone? Ever left a negative review with a ‘little’ exaggeration? Ever gossiped about someone’s personal issues? Said nasty things about someone you didn’t like, to other people? 

Wars happen because people on both sides think they are right, and they think that their being on the ‘right’ side justifies a violation of ethics and principles. It may be a different situation if you are actively under attack – then offence might be the best defense, but that is rarely the case, isn’t it? If you believe that your being right justifies a violation of basic human decency, compassion and courtesy, how different are you, in principle, to the people who kill in the name of God? 

The next time you say or do that mean thing, just stop for a second and ask yourself, is this the only way to put my point across? Am I using my pain as an excuse to hurt another person? Is offence the only option I have left? Can I maybe, be kind anyway?