Ashwita

Feeling Appreciated

July 1, 2011 Ashwita Comments 1 comment

I found this article somewhere, and loved it, just reproducing it over here for anyone who needs to read this 🙂

By Dr. Margaret Paul

Do you frequently feel that you do so much for others, yet end up feeling unappreciated by others?

Have you ever hear yourself say, or said to yourself, “No one appreciates me.”

I used to say this to myself all the time. I was constantly giving myself up to please others, and then ended up feeling completely unappreciated and resentful – until I learned how to take loving care of myself and appreciate myself.

I encountered this recently with Jayden, a young man who consulted with me after his girlfriend left him and he got fired from his job as a construction worker. An alcoholic who had stopped drinking last year, he was back to drinking.

“I gave so much to my girlfriend and worked so hard at the job. I don’t understand this. No one ever appreciates me,” he said with a resentful whine in his voice. Jayden was obviously feeling like a victim of his girlfriend and his boss.

“Are you saying that your girlfriend and your boss never offered you praise or compliments?”

“Well, yes they did, but I still feel unappreci! ated, because she left and he fired me.”

“Were you able to take in their praise and compliments?”

“What do you mean?”

“Jayden, did their praise and compliments make you feel good inside, or did you just slough them off?”

“I mostly sloughed them off because I didn’t think they meant it, and I was right. If they would have meant it, she wouldn’t have left and he wouldn’t have fired me.”

“Is it possible that they fired you because of your attitude? You seem very angry and you are acting like a victim – as if they are responsible for your feelings instead of you taking responsibility. Do you ever appreciate yourself?”

Silence.

“Jayden, do you ever appreciate yourself?”

“No. I don’t like myself.”

“So you try to please everyone to get them to approve of you, but when they do you don’t believe them because you don’t think you are good enough. Then you feel angry and resentful because you don’t feel appreciated. It’s m! y guess that your girlfriend left and your boss fired you because of y our anger and resentment. Your closed, blaming, angry energy is tough to be around. Until you are willing to learn how to take loving care of yourself and value yourself, you will likely continue to have these problems. Are you willing to learn to do this?”

Jayden indicated that he was. Here is what I suggested he practice:

“Start paying attention to your feelings, and whenever you feel angry or resentful, notice what you are telling yourself and how you are treating yourself that is causing these feelings. I know you believe these feelings are being caused by others, but this is not true. They are being caused by your own self-abandonment: giving yourself up to please others; judging yourself; turning to alcohol to numb your feelings rather than taking responsibility for them; and blaming others for your feelings.

“Imagine that you have an older, wiser self whom you can turn to for the truth. We have all been programmed with hundreds of false beliefs ab! out ourselves, others and the world, and these lies cause us much pain. When you become aware of one of these lies, such as ‘I’m not good enough’, or ‘No one ever appreciates me,’ imagine your older wiser self and ask ‘What is the truth?’ and ‘What is the loving action toward myself?’ As you learn to appreciate yourself and treat yourself better, you will find your anger going away.

“Are you willing to start to practice this?”

“Yes, I am.”

Jayden did practice and within a few months, he and his girlfriend re-united. She was able to tell him how much she loves him and how heartbroken she felt whenever he blamed her for his feelings. By learning to take responsibility for his own feelings and appreciate himself, he was surprised to discover that he now felt appreciated by her.

Healing Yourself

December 28, 2010 Ashwita Comments 3 comments

All roads lead to Rome. Anyone looking for God, eventually realises that there is nothing to search for, and that everything is inside.

Healing, too. One may take help from others, but eventually only one person can heal you – you.

My previous article on Healing Space was just a starter – I was exploring something new, I’m still learning. And as I learn, I realise – the most profound healing space one can provide is for oneself. As for others, a deep silence is the best thing you can offer them to assist their healing; the rest happens automatically.

So what is this healing space? In my current understanding, it is merely a complete acceptance of one’s current state. We are so conditioned by our past lives, parents and the society that we have to live by stereotypes. Among the people I meet, I see this at its worst – people trying to live upto the stereotypes of what they believe are spiritual people.

When we live with stereotypes in mind, we have a set of qualities and behaviours we expect from ourselves and people of a certain category. For example, ‘I am an honest person’, ‘I am intelligent’, ‘Spiritual people are not interested in material things’, ‘Rich people live in big houses and buy expensive things’. We classify ourselves too, and when we violate those stereotypes, there can be one of two reactions – either panic, or denial. Both are not very conducive to healing, and both lead to another problem – difficulty in loving oneself. So as you can imagine, it leads to a downward spiral, as a lack of love toward oneself further leads to panic and denial, and make more mistakes.

Let go of stereotypes. Its all ok. It is ok to be a ‘bad’ person. No matter what you do, you are still lovable. We’re taught from childhood consciously and subconsciously that actions make a person worthy of being loved. This belief prevents us from loving our dear ones as well as ourselves completely – because we perceive actions and intentions as good or bad, and judge a person from our very limited perspective. As Mahatma Gandhi used to say, ‘hate the sin, not the sinner’.

So how do we begin healing ourselves? Obviously observeration is a pre-requisite. The simplest thing is to observe ourselves when we make judgments about others. Negative judgments are always nothing but a reflection of something inside us. When we feel negatively about a person, we can try putting ourselves in their position, and ask ourselves if we would still love ourselves if we were that person. It is a good idea to write down our feelings at this point, and take it deeper from there, asking again and again what is the feeling beneath the feeling we have just identified.

The next step would be to watch out for any sudden reaction. The moment we find ourselves resisting something, arguing too hard, or trying not to think of something, we know we’ve hit pay dirt. No matter how uneasy it makes us feel, it is wonderful if we can take a deep look at what we are trying to avoid. We start with acceptance of the action or feeling, that it is perfectly ok to have done something or felt a particular way. Then we explore that emotion deeper, and start toying with it. What are we really feeling? What is the feeling beneath this feeling? Does this feeling invoke any memories? Meditate on it. Irrespective of how far we get, our work is to merely observe. There is no good or bad and we do not make judgments about what comes up.

Obviously, one gets much better with practice, and once we’re good at helping ourselves, helping others do the same becomes markedly easier.

7 Stages of Happiness

November 18, 2010 Ashwita Comments 0 Comment

My parents were interested in an Indian Guru Tej Parkhi for some time. They bought some of his small, easily readable books. They contained some nice pearls of wisdom. Here’s one that I found quite interesting. It talks about the various stages of happiness that we experience as we go through life. None is better than the other, they are merely stages, but it helps to know what it is we are experiencing.

Every person experiences multiple stages, different stages in different situations. Our energies fluctuate, and so do our sources of happiness.

In the eternal quest for happiness, we go through seven levels of happiness until we attain what we have always wanted… ultimate bliss…

1) Artificial happiness does not even actually exist.

It is just little material pleasures that makes a person feel happy for a moment.

Retail therapy is one of the biggest examples of this happiness. One pays more than required for something they don’t need. They then mistake those few moments where they can forget the mundane boredom of their lives, for happiness.

2) Second hand happiness : This is pleasure derived by making fun, taunting, bullying or troubling others.

Making fun of others is very commonplace these days, and this is a clear indication that the person has not learned to connect with the universal source. Again, this is not really happiness, it is merely the act of trying to make another look smaller so that one can forget one’s own flaws for a while.

3) Stimulation happiness : This happiness is aroused by excitement.

Excitement could be found in adventure sports like bungee jumping or river rafting, or even in more common incidents in life, like doing something new, achieving a goal, winning something, etc.

During excitement, the mind stops working for a few moments, and one comes in touch with the Source. People then chase exciting activities to experience that again and again.

4) Formula happiness : This kind of pleasure is created by applying a formula.

For example, the formula for some people might be Movie + Dinner = Enjoyment.

5) Happiness through service : This is the first amongst higher levels of happiness where an individual derives happiness out of serving others.

The ego slowly starts to dissolve in this state, and one is able to see that everything is one. Thus, bringing a smile to others brings great joy.

6) Divine happiness : In this kind of happiness, a person experiences joy due to his devotion and surrender to the Higher Self.

The one thing that prevents us from being happy, is stress. Stress comes when we are resisting the present moment. When this resistance starts fading and is replaced by devotion and surrender, our inherent happiness starts to surface.

7) Eternal Bliss : This ultimate stage of everlasting pure happiness – everything is happiness.

In this stage, the union with the Source is complete. There is no one to surrender, there is no one to surrender to. One becomes an embodiment of the pure bliss that the universe already is.

Healing Space

November 13, 2010 Ashwita Comments 0 Comment

I attended a wonderful workshop with the author of ‘Relationship as a Spiritual Pathway’ with Jacqueline M Longstaff this week, and I’d like to share some of the wisdom I gained over there. I am not done reading the book yet, so there may be more later. She spoke of a lot of things, but as the title suggests, I’m going to be writing about one aspect of the workshop – the healing space.

The workshop was about how to use relationships as a ladder for spiritual growth. When two people come together in a relationship they might open up, letting their vulnerabilities show and creating potential for deep healing. After the initial ‘honeymoon’ phase is over, cleansing begins, and both people can help each other heal and become more complete beings. Commitment in such a relationship is very important since once the healing begins, a lot of things come up and if the partner was to walk away at this point it would leave the other quite devastated.

While Jacqueline spoke of the healing space with respect to a relationship, I’d like to discuss it from an individual point of view, as most people I interact with haven’t yet found a partner who can help them heal and become whole. A healing relationship doesn’t have to imply one only with a partner, therapist or guru. Before we seek all these, we need a healing relationship with ourselves.

Working from the heart was one of the first things we were taught in the workshop and I found this to be tremendously healing. She would just play some heart music and ask us to meditate on the heart, breathing from the heart (to elaborate, imagine a nose IN your heart, breathing, and then do away with the nose). Click here to listen to what she played. Infact, I suggest that you stop right now, listen to this song as you breathe from the heart and then continue reading.

When in a relationship, before discussing anything important, it is essential to spend some time breathing from the heart, and then speaking from the heart to the other person. This completely changes the energies of the discussion and makes both people more receptive to each other. When we open up to each other, suppressed emotions come up, and may result in the person experiencing cleansing symptoms, such as anger, depression, erratic behaviour, etc. We have to learn to accept each other’s emotional patterns, but never make the mistake of thinking of them as real. Remind yourself that these are merely passing phases in a healing journey.

Now look at the same concept from the point of view of being alone. In these rapidly changing times, most people on earth are experiencing intense healing and growth, and are lost in the search of someone else to provide us that healing space, that love and energy that we need to heal and get back up. To allow someone else to heal, we need to respect their needs, love them deeply and be willing to hold them through the difficult time. To allow ourselves to heal, we need to respect our own needs, love ourselves deeply, and be willing to accept every bit of the misery we put ourselves through, on this healing journey.

This is difficult when you’re feeling weak and broken yes, but only when you are not centered in the heart. If we only spend some time everyday breathing from the heart and letting ourselves just be, we would find this journey getting easier by leaps and bounds. Contrary to normal circumstances where most people are busy exhausting themselves by resisting their emotions and situations, this gives us space to heal and allows us to nurture ourselves. It also creates a deep acceptance of our own situation and reduces dependency on loved ones for emotional support.

It is natural if you feel your understanding is incomplete when you read this the first time. I suggest practicing breathing in the heart and observing your thoughts and feelings for a week to integrate the idea of a healing space into your life.

I found music very useful in this journey and here are a few more tracks that you could play when you’re breathing in through your heart.
Ek Omkar – Snatam Kaur
Long Time Sun – Snatam Kaur
The Flame of Transmutation and Freedom – Erik Berglund

Freedom

October 19, 2010 Ashwita Comments 0 Comment

What is the use
Of your freedom to walk
If you are caged
By your every thought?

We worry about choices
That affect our whole lives
But seldom do we care
About the present moment’s demise

What is life, but
A series of current moments?
Why live in the past or future
When all that matters is in the present?

We think we’re free, but
We’re limited by our fears
Our fears of the future,
And of the past, our tears

How can you be really free
When you are chained by your mind?
Did you know you can let go
And leave all these barriers behind?

Imagine a whole new world, without
Limiting beliefs, hesitation, fear
Every moment you live in the present
A world like this draws near

Face everything life shoves at you
Acknowledge it, accept and resolve
Let the next moment be a brand new one
And this, my dears, is how you evolve

I am a Diamond

October 7, 2010 Ashwita Comments 0 Comment

I sit under a spotlight, behind glass panes
Shining, reflecting, radiating light
And I watch as people stick their noses
To the glass, their eyes so bright

I am a diamond, I sparkle like the sun
But this beauty, this shine, is a deception
I was a rock, beneath soil hidden
I’ve come a long way, since my journey was begun

I was broken and cut, again and again
My life seemed to revolve around pain
When I thought life couldn’t get worse
I grew to realise, my hope was in vain

But today I look at myself, and think
It was all worth it, after all
My beauty today, makes that despair,
That pain, that torture, look so small

So when you’re hurting with endless pain
Remember my story please
You’ll be a bright, shining star too,
And one day this torture will cease

Meditation

September 19, 2010 Ashwita Comments 0 Comment

Mention the word meditation to a beginner, and almost always the response is the same “Oh I can’t meditate, I have too many thoughts!” In my mind, this is no different from someone saying that they cannot do yoga because they cannot, say, touch their toes. We know, don’t we, that with regular practice, a person who couldn’t touch his toes will eventually place his palms on the floor with ease? Then why the fear of meditation if there are too many thoughts? The whole practice is to help the mind calm down!

Many guided meditations and other forms of concentration are not really meditation because all they help you do is visualise something nice, or give the mind something to focus on – hence keeping it too preoccupied to engage in the disturbing thoughts that usually plague you. Such activities create a scenario of escape, where you can have a difficult day, and escape it all every evening with a wonderful ‘meditation’. Meditation is not escape – it is the act of coming face to face with reality, and eventually, making peace with it. It is something that can, and ideally should, be practiced in every moment, waking or sleeping.

Having said that, what is meditation then? Meditation is the state of witnessing everything there is – the thoughts, the emotions, the mind, the body. One can witness either one or all of these, depending on the level of practice. Here are a few ways to start meditating.

The Easiest: Ana Pana Sati
The easiest way to meditate is to simply watch the breath. Do not alter your breathing, merely watch it, as it enters and leaves your body. If you are the sort of person who tends to be creative but poor at execution, with a tendency for absent-mindedness, watch your breath in your belly – focus your attention on the way your belly rises and falls as you breathe. If you tend to be very practical and efficient, often frustrated about the inefficiency of everyone around you, meditating on the movement of air in your nostrils or the nasal passage is a good idea. This is taught as a precursor to Vipassana meditation, and it is a good idea to graduate to Vipassana once you are very comfortable with this method.

This meditation below is a good place to start your meditation journey, and eventually you can do this on your own, even in little installments while you wait for the bus, sit quietly in a cab or meeting, for example.

Vipassana Meditation
Vipassana takes the witnessing much deeper than ana pana sati. One observes the sensations in the various parts one’s body, one part at a time. One can start, for example, from the head, observing the sensations on top of the head, moving to the eyes, face, and so on, all the way to the feet, or the other way around. Some of the things to watch out for are the sensations of passing breeze, the texture of the cloth touching your skin, any aches and pains, tingling or warmth. One might feel much more, ofcourse, and these are just pointers to begin with.

Spaciousness
One of my favourite methods is the way Eckhart Tolle asks us to be present. Become aware of the space around you. Become aware of the silence in the midst of the noise. Observe the spaces between the words, as you read. Or the gaps between your breaths. Or if you can, you could even just witness the stillness within your own body. Let this space, this silence, silence you. And rest in that silence.

Witnessing
We’ve talked about watching the breath, the body and the space around us. Another simple thing to do is just watch the mind. Simply witness the thoughts coming and going. Do not encourage the thoughts by thinking them, but merely acknowledge their existence and let them pass. Some thoughts stay longer, some go quickly. Sometimes we are witnessing merely thoughts and at other times we may need to take a step back and witness strong emotions. Always remember that you are not your thoughts, opinions or feelings – these things do not define you. Sooner or later, you will find yourself thinking, believing or feeling the exact opposite of the things that pass through you. These are transient and have nothing to do with your true nature.

Staying in the Heart
There are times when thoughts don’t seem to release their grip on us. When it is impossible to stop thinking, it may be a good idea to give the mind a little to think about. Imagine the energies in the heart radiating outwards. Imagine that these energies expand as you breathe in, and slightly deflate as you breathe out. Keep your focus in your heart, as if that is where you were located in the body. This process is especially helpful when you are being swept away by strong emotions. Take a few minutes and practice this for some time to help center yourself.

Some things to bear in mind:

Beware the Distractions:
When one initially starts meditating, the mind is uncomfortable. This results in trivial distractions, like an itch on the nose, for instance. One tends to want to touch or rub the face or hands on some pretext or the other. It is important to remember that these are just tricks of the mind. Be aware and watch the desire, no matter how intense it is.

Stay Still:
It is important to keep the body as still as possible, as the body starts to heal itself during meditation. Energies start moving in certain directions, and moving the body often disrupts this flow. It is best to start with a comfortable pose, and try not to move for the entire duration of meditation. Ofcourse, this does not mean we do not move at all, even in the face of bad knees or backs. If there is a real need to move, move with awareness, slowly, and witnessing the feelings in the body as it moves.

Remember that Thoughts Come and Go:
It is the nature of the mind to think. Once we start observing the mind, we start learning much more about how it functions and slowly learn to ignore it’s antics. When thoughts come, gently push them aside and bring your attention back. Do not resist them. When thoughts or feelings are too intense, let them be, merely observe them. Resisting thoughts or feelings only intensifies the problem.

Think of the mind as the screensaver of a computer. Some days you have a quiet screensaver – clear blue skies and one daisy floating by every once in a while. On other days, it is an aquarium crazy with activity, fish swimming by in a frenzy and jelly fish popping up here and there. Irrespective of which screensaver it is, remember that it is still just a screensaver. It is not who you are.

Lastly… Meditation is not a ‘doing’, it is ‘being’. It is a way of life, something that is to be practiced in every moment, whether waking or sleeping. However, the practice of meditation itself when done right, can help your moment-to-moment meditation go deeper. Both are essential if you really wish to reach a balance in your life, and equanimity in all situations.

The Art of the Guru

June 15, 2010 Ashwita Comments 0 Comment

I came across this very interesting book that a friend was reading, and I found this chapter on guru very interesting. I think it is the most concise and beautiful way a guru-disciple relationship can be described. So here’s an extract from the Introductory chapter “The Art of the Guru” from the book “Death must die: A Western woman’s life long spiritual quest in India with Shree Anandamayee Ma” by Ram Alexander.

Although many seek the ‘consolation of religion’ in their lives and some have found solace in Eastern philosphy, yoga and spiritual teachers, not many have seriously embarked on an authentic guru-disciple relationship, which is fundamentally different. Inherent in this relationship is a particular structure and discipline that, like every art, demands a certain degree of talent and a strong commitment from the practitioner if it is to be perfected.

The Guru is a powerful aid to Self knowledge in which, it is considered, lies the ultimate truth of one’s existence. Each person’s way to his inner realisation is uniquely his own and thus there is little in the way of outer dogma on this path. But fundamental to this process of Self-discovery is the essential philosophical conviction that until and unless one directly experiences the knower as the known, all outer objects of knowledge (including God to the extent that he remains a dualistic concept) can only be less than authentic. This is not to say that devotion and surrender to God are excluded, but it is through an authentic experience of the all-pervading Divine as the essence of one’s individual being that one becomes initiated into an intense process of devotion to what alone IS. As we see with Atmananda’s training with Anandamayee Ma, she pursues both Self-knowledge as well as devotional surrender; and under the guidance of the Guru a number of devotional and yogic practices are given to facilitate this. As both Anandamayee Ma and Ramana Maharishi tell her, only when the Self is known can one truly know God, and vice versa.

That state which the Guru embodies and to which the disciple aspires is one of permanent transformation of his or her own ego structure in which a total cosmic integration occurs. In this is revealed both the ultimate humanism and the supreme individualism, in that all creation, all others, are experienced as having a fundamental integrity that is divine and in no way separate from oneself. In this state of sublime non-duality the experiencer is one with the experienced, such that the only possible response at any level of relationship is infinite love and compassion as all beings are experienced literally as oneself. To be in the presence of one who is established in this consciousness is to have this Reality awakened in oneself to some degree and this is clearly understood to be the truth of one’s essential nature and not something imposed from without. There is a fundamental authenticity about this experience, inherent in all that is most worthwhile in the human experiment that is totally beyond any external authority or belief system, although it is the source of all religion. When the Guru has finally succeeded in his job of awakening the disciple, he ceases to exist as ‘another’ and thus there can be no question of dependence or servitude of the disciple, although he will always feel overwelhming gratitude to his teacher for revealing the way.

The Guru guides those prepared to make this journey beyond death by holding up a mirror that uncompromisingly reveals one’s desperate clinging to the circular patterns of the ego-cherishing, and simultaneously reveals the individual’s true Self in which the lie of the false ego and one’s fearful clinging are dissolved. To be sure, not all gurus, or would-be gurus, are equally qualified and a great guru can achieve with a glance, or the withholding of one, what a lesser guru does with hours of haranguing the indolent or rebellious disciple. This relationship is a process that is fundamentally beyond words and the ‘teachings’ of a great Master can never be understood only from his recorded sayings. This explains why sacred books and scriptures are often so woefully misinterpreted and taken out of the context in which they were originally expounded, once the Master is no longer. The transformative presence of a living Guru is by definition a great threat to the status quo of the ego, whereas the written words of a deceased teacher can easily be turned into another prop with which one can feel spiritually safe.

A mature psychological balance and a well developed sense of morality and integrity are essential for the prospective disciple, without which he cannot possibly make significant progress in this endeavour. For the ethically and psychologically unprepared, to attempt to practice serious esoteric disciplines can often produce disasterous results. It is particularly for this that substantial association with the Guru is important so that he can closely observe the disciple and discern exactly what he may require and what he is able to absorb at each stage of his spiritual evolution.

To be in the presence of the Guru is, for the committed disciple, to be in the presence of God, which is to say that the profoundly magnetic spiritual presence of the Guru activates the spiritual centre within the disciple making him aware of the transcendent divinity within himself and all others in a much more intense way than he could normally do on his own.

The disciple utilizes this intensity to develop and deepen his meditation and to help him to clearly discriminate between right and wrong action – to see clearly the unceasing tricks of the ego as it desperately fights for its survival. Whatever heightens this inner state of transcendent awareness is seen as good and desirable, and whatever detracts is to be avoided. In this way a clear path of action opens out. Here also frequent contact with the Master is very helpful in intensifying and clarifying the this process of discrimination in which one is attempting to ‘bring down’ and ‘stabilize’ a more fundamentally subtle level of awareness. It is particularly to protect and effect this all important subtle energy transformation that the serious aspirant needs to live (for some time atleast) in a controlled and isolated environment – ideally the Guru’s ashram- in order to maintain proper ‘laboratory conditions’ in which to protect his work.

Obviously a passionate commitment and effort on part of the disciple are essential and this is invariably the result of he or she fully comprehending that the perfection of this self-transformative process art is ultimate – indeed the sole – purpose of their existence. Thus, far from being an escape from life, the disciple is convinced that only in doing this spiritual work is he taking full responsibility for his existence in that of the world. Again, this has absolutely nothing to do with any belief system or organised doctrine imposed from without; which is not to say that there is not a structure and method which is revealed through the mystical process of the Guru-disciple relationship- a relationship that is inherently beyond others until all ‘others’ have become precisely ‘That’.

Ofcourse, it is understood that the Guru is only an outer manifestation of one’s innermost Self, the in-dwelling Divinity within all, to which everyone has his own unique access. However, except for the rare phenomenon of the born saint or avatar, it is extremely difficult, if not impossible to remain on the path of illumination, referred to in the Upanishads as the ‘razor’s edge’, without the guidance of one who can shed light on the way. In any case, only can only begin from where one is at the moment, working with the inner Guru until, as it is said, ‘When the disciple is ready, the Guru will appear’. Although a great Master may give his blessings to many, there are few whom he or she would consider qualified to seriously embark on this path and such a disciple is severely tested before being accepted. This is the ancient time-honoured Guru tradition of India.

Ahimsa: Nonviolent Thoughts

May 3, 2010 Ashwita Comments 0 Comment

… continued from Ahimsa: Living Nonviolent Lives

Violence in Thoughts & Words

Thoughts do have power. No matter how much you ignore it, YOUR thoughts DO have power! And everytime you wish bad for someone, you are adding violence to the world – becoming a contributor. And since what goes around comes around, you will eventually become a victim of the circumstances your own thoughts created, but that is another matter altogether. My point is, WHY ADD?

Lets take a very simple example. Assume you are standing in a crowded bus, and a fat lady steps on your foot and walk away. ‘Damn her, I hope someone fatter than her steps on her foot today!’ Is this going to be your first thought too? It does feel very comforting for us to wish that way, and in those instances I’m sure a lot of us hope that all our thoughts came true instantly. Be glad it doesn’t. Let us stop and think of the consequences of that thought.

The lady stepped on your foot and walked away, and you wished that someone step on hers. A few days later, someone steps on her foot, and she wishes that that person’s foot gets stamped by someone else. And then, that person wishes the same thing when it happens to him, and so on. Eventually, you’ll stamp someone’s foot and the same thing will be wished for you, starting yet another chain reaction. How has your thought helped? As if there wasn’t enough already, you created an entire chain of foot-stamping incidents. And this is only one, simple example. How many chains have you started already?

Wish for their good
So if we shouldn’t wish for their misery, what must we think? Simple, wish for their good. No, I don’t mean that you wish that that person becomes rich and successful and famous. Wish for them to develop a quality that would prevent such incidents from repeating. For the fat lady above, we would wish that she became sensitive to other people’s pain. How wonderful. Can you imagine her treading carefully and apologizing in the event of stepping on a foot? That is what we need to wish for, and contribute to the love on earth. If someone cuts across you on the road or breaks a signal in front of you, wish for them to be better drivers. If you get cheated, wish for them to be more honest. When someone is happy, they like to see the world happy. When you wish for others’ happiness, you wish that that person stop making others miserable. When you wish for others’ misery, you add to the misery of the world.

I think we all agree that there is enough violence in the world. And violence begets violence. One person who gets slapped goes and slaps someone else, maybe two people. They carry it forward in their own way, adding their own share of violence in the process. And that is why we see the world spiraling in a violent loop – increasing crimes everywhere, inside homes and outside. Please choose to be different. Please stop the chains at yourself.

Your thoughts do have power. And positive thoughts are more powerful than negative thoughts. We just never realise it, because positive thoughts probably form less than 10% of our thinking. Replace every negative thought with two positive ones. Choose your reactions and your thoughts, and replace the ones you can’t. Spread love in others’ lives, spread happiness and smiles. And remember, what goes around, comes around. It can be a better, brighter, lovelier world. If only we pitch in our shares too.

Ahimsa: Living Nonviolent Lives

March 19, 2010 Ashwita Comments 0 Comment

‘Ahimsa’ or Non-violence are words that are typically associated with Gandhiji. And the Independence struggle. But that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m not talking about Ahimsa as a policy – I’m talking about it as a way of life.

I was in Rishikesh a few weeks ago and had the good fortune of meeting Swamini Mayatitananda. I’d read her book long ago and have great respect for her. Hearing her speak was a dream come true. The main topic of her talk was Ahimsa, bringing non-violence into our lives.

Violence is prevalent in three main forms. The most violence is in our FOOD. This is followed by thoughts, words and actions.

Violence in Food
Food? So I must be talking about becoming vegetarian, right? Wrong. Although Mayaji strongly suggests that path, the views I’m expressing here are a wee bit different.

‘The Tiger is not a violent animal – it kills only when it is hungry’. Hunger is a natural urge – nature meant you to fulfil it. Carnivores are not violent, because they are only satisfying their hunger, and playing their vital role in retaining and maintaining nature’s balance. So what does all this mean? It means that Whenever you over-eat, you are being violent. If you pride yourself on being vegetarian, and you overeat – remember that every grain, every leaf you eat, is a morsel of food snatched from a hungry mouth, whether animal or man. How can you claim to be a ‘vegetarian’ then? You still kill!

It doesn’t matter what you eat – what matters is how much. If you eat to satisfy your hunger, very good. But the moment you start eating to satisfy your appetite, eating to satisfy your gastronomic desires – you are doing something unnatural and violent.

Plants do get hurt. Plants scream when a leaf is plucked insensitively. But here’s news – they’re silent when animals come to eat their leaves! Nature meant to feed every hungry mouth. Yours too. But it didn’t provide for over-indulgence, for insensitive satisfaction of desires. The next time you overeat, come online, and google for some pictures of the starving children in Africa. Why, even the plastic bags that you dispose off carelessly end up getting stuck in cow’s throats and killing them. Please be more sensitive and responsible!

Zen: The Art of Nothing

Journeying Towards Bliss

Browsed by
Author: Ashwita